Is It An Easy Climb?

Is marriage an easy climb?
I ask this question because if you look around you today you will see that the rate of divorce is soaring. And this often makes one wonder if it’s not better to stay single. What is the cause? Is there a specific age for marriage? Is there a special reason for getting married?

Some people get married because they have found the right person, some get married because they are tired of waiting for the right time, some get married because they want to escape the troubles in their home (especially young people who are still depending on their parents), while some get married because they are in love with the idea of getting married.

Whatever your reason is, you should know that marriage is for better and for worse. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage and there is no such thing as a perfect spouse. You came into it with flaws why do you expect your spouse to be perfect? Marriage is a serious issue. It’s not a toy that you can discard when you get tired of it. It is meant to last for a lifetime. “Till death do us part”, that is what you promised. It is not till I find someone better than you in bed. It is not till your money runs out. It is not till I find someone prettier than you.

Before you go into marriage take a time out and ask yourself these questions. “Am I truly ready for this?” “What kind of a parent will I be?” What do I have to offer a child morally, spiritually and otherwise?” “What if he loses his job or business will I still be there?” What if my partner were to loose his/her beauty and prowess in bed due to an accident or sickness, will I still be able to stay with him/her? I am not saying that we should be dreaming of bad things only, but this is life and bad things do happen.

You need to think deeply before venturing into marriage because lots of responsibilities are attached to marriage. You are the one who will shape your kids’ lives. And you don’t teach children by words only; you will have to practice what you preach. Asking a child not to smoke when you are a chimney yourself is like asking a frog to sing instead of croak.

Personally, I believe that marriage will last longer if we take our time to think deeply about it before we venture into it. And we should also watch our expectations; make sure that they are realistic. Happily ever after – especially the type Hollywood and romance novels offer – is a myth.

The reason I call it a myth is because the stories are always almost the same. All the heroes of romance novels and movies look and act the same. They all possess broad chest, deep voice, Adonis face and the body of a Roman god. And did I forget to mention that they are all skillful and romantic lovers?

The heroines on the other hand, are all slender (does that mean fat and curvy people shouldn’t dream of love?), possess angelic face, long legs, flawless porcelain skin and they are all passionate and irresistibly sexy. How many of such flawlessly beautiful men and women do you see on the street everyday?

The stories too follow the same pattern. The hero is always arrogant and wild, while the heroine is gentle but fiery and passionate. No matter how bad and disdainful the hero treats her, she will continue to stick with him. And at the end of the day she will succeed in taming and changing the hero.

The truth is that people don’t change people. You can only help people who wants to change by being patient and tolerable with them. If a guy or a girl is not willing to change, if you want, bring down the sun and the moon for him/her, he/she won’t change. A person can only change when he/she makes up his/her mind to change.

So getting married to an irresponsible guy or girl because you believe that you would change him/her is a terrible mistake. You will end up wasting your time and energy. So before you venture into marriage take a time out to think about it. And do it only when you believe that you are truly ready for it.

Marriage is not something that grows on its own. It’s like a young flower, if you don’t water it regularly, it will shrivel up and die. For your marriage to last you need to work at it tirelessly everyday. You also need lots of prayers, because there is no limit to what prayer can do in our lives. Marriage is always stronger when we put God in the centre of it. You can’t do it all by yourself.

So my dear friends, I don’t need to be an expert in marriage to know that it is as beautiful as a rose. And just like a rose, it has some thorns attached to it. And if you don’t handle it carefully, it will prick; and the wound it will inflict might take a long time to heal. Marriage is worth more than the cost of your ring, the splendor of your wedding gown or the awesomeness of your wedding day; so treat it as a respectable and sacred union that it is. 

Please feel free to e-mail me or leave your comment below if you think there is something i forgot to add, or if you have more suggestions to make on the post. Thank you and may God grant you a blessed and happy life.