Is It An Easy Climb?

Is marriage an easy climb?
I ask this question because if you look around you today you will see that the rate of divorce is soaring. And this often makes one wonder if it’s not better to stay single. What is the cause? Is there a specific age for marriage? Is there a special reason for getting married?

Some people get married because they have found the right person, some get married because they are tired of waiting for the right time, some get married because they want to escape the troubles in their home (especially young people who are still depending on their parents), while some get married because they are in love with the idea of getting married.

Whatever your reason is, you should know that marriage is for better and for worse. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage and there is no such thing as a perfect spouse. You came into it with flaws why do you expect your spouse to be perfect? Marriage is a serious issue. It’s not a toy that you can discard when you get tired of it. It is meant to last for a lifetime. “Till death do us part”, that is what you promised. It is not till I find someone better than you in bed. It is not till your money runs out. It is not till I find someone prettier than you.

Before you go into marriage take a time out and ask yourself these questions. “Am I truly ready for this?” “What kind of a parent will I be?” What do I have to offer a child morally, spiritually and otherwise?” “What if he loses his job or business will I still be there?” What if my partner were to loose his/her beauty and prowess in bed due to an accident or sickness, will I still be able to stay with him/her? I am not saying that we should be dreaming of bad things only, but this is life and bad things do happen.

You need to think deeply before venturing into marriage because lots of responsibilities are attached to marriage. You are the one who will shape your kids’ lives. And you don’t teach children by words only; you will have to practice what you preach. Asking a child not to smoke when you are a chimney yourself is like asking a frog to sing instead of croak.

Personally, I believe that marriage will last longer if we take our time to think deeply about it before we venture into it. And we should also watch our expectations; make sure that they are realistic. Happily ever after – especially the type Hollywood and romance novels offer – is a myth.

The reason I call it a myth is because the stories are always almost the same. All the heroes of romance novels and movies look and act the same. They all possess broad chest, deep voice, Adonis face and the body of a Roman god. And did I forget to mention that they are all skillful and romantic lovers?

The heroines on the other hand, are all slender (does that mean fat and curvy people shouldn’t dream of love?), possess angelic face, long legs, flawless porcelain skin and they are all passionate and irresistibly sexy. How many of such flawlessly beautiful men and women do you see on the street everyday?

The stories too follow the same pattern. The hero is always arrogant and wild, while the heroine is gentle but fiery and passionate. No matter how bad and disdainful the hero treats her, she will continue to stick with him. And at the end of the day she will succeed in taming and changing the hero.

The truth is that people don’t change people. You can only help people who wants to change by being patient and tolerable with them. If a guy or a girl is not willing to change, if you want, bring down the sun and the moon for him/her, he/she won’t change. A person can only change when he/she makes up his/her mind to change.

So getting married to an irresponsible guy or girl because you believe that you would change him/her is a terrible mistake. You will end up wasting your time and energy. So before you venture into marriage take a time out to think about it. And do it only when you believe that you are truly ready for it.

Marriage is not something that grows on its own. It’s like a young flower, if you don’t water it regularly, it will shrivel up and die. For your marriage to last you need to work at it tirelessly everyday. You also need lots of prayers, because there is no limit to what prayer can do in our lives. Marriage is always stronger when we put God in the centre of it. You can’t do it all by yourself.

So my dear friends, I don’t need to be an expert in marriage to know that it is as beautiful as a rose. And just like a rose, it has some thorns attached to it. And if you don’t handle it carefully, it will prick; and the wound it will inflict might take a long time to heal. Marriage is worth more than the cost of your ring, the splendor of your wedding gown or the awesomeness of your wedding day; so treat it as a respectable and sacred union that it is. 

Please feel free to e-mail me or leave your comment below if you think there is something i forgot to add, or if you have more suggestions to make on the post. Thank you and may God grant you a blessed and happy life.

Marring marriage

The first marriage took place in the garden of Eden between our first parents, Adam and Eve. God was the minister who presided over that wedding. God Himself blessed the wedding and told them to go ahead and multiply and subdue the earth.

Marriage! What does this one word mean to you and me? How is this one word affecting our lives? One can not speak of marriage without talking about family. Both of them go hand in hand. Marriage leads to family and That is why marriage is a very important issue, because family is where the crown of the society lies. That is the reason we should be more careful with marriage and treat it with respect. You do not get married just because you feel like it, you get married because you know you have what it takes to face its challenges and stay married. Marriage is not just a fairytale. There is no happily ever after in marriage. You should not hope to live happily ever after with someone who is flawed like you. You should remember that he or she has both good and bad character. So if you are entering marriage hoping that it will be for you like it was for Cinderella. Sweetheart! you are joking.

Let us face the truth, shall we? There is bound to be trouble and no matter how you try to hide from it it will always find you out. The bills will come, there will be arguments which may sometimes end in a bitter row, there will be children problem, the dishwasher will become faulty and eventually stop working someday, the car will need to be changed someday, even the nannies will leave someday and the list is endless. So tell me, with all these problems that will surface someday, how can one live happily ever after. Let us face reality and forget the sugar-coated information we receieve from romantic movies and novels.

If you take a look around you, you will see that marriage is speedily losing its worth and the effect it is having on us is also seen everywhere in the society. There is nothing wrong with marriage. The only problem is with us, we allow what we see in movies and read in novels to control the way we feel about marriage. But all hope is not lost. Marriage may not be a bed of roses, but neither is it a bed of thorns. Roses are beautiful, yet they have thorns. If you do not want the thorns to hurt you, you will handle them carefully. That is how it is with marriage. When handled with respect and care, marriage can be the sweetest thing on earth. Marriage is the right choice you will ever make in life, because if it is worthless as most people paint it to be God would not have presided over the first marriage and He would not have blessed it either. So if you are preparing for marriage, go ahead and do it with joy, but make sure you understand the true meaning of it.

Who is a perfect bride???

Wedding day is a day of joy especially for the bride, whose dreams has come true. It is a day of great jubilee, but to some women the wedding day has become a very big nightmare.

I read some articles a few weeks ago about what some brides put themselves through just because they want to look like the perfect bride on their wedding day. How some of them will go to an abnormal extent of injecting themselves with all kinds of drugs, undergoing all kinds of surgery, starving themselves and doing all kinds of unimaginable things to themselves just because they want to look like 'Cindarella' on their wedding day. That is why I ask if there is anything like the perfect bride. The answer is, there is nothing like a perfect bride since imperfection is in all of us, so it will be a waste of time trying to make yourself look perfect. The wedding is just for one day, living together with your spouse will lasts for a lifetime. The only perfect bride is a bride who understands that the wedding day is the biginning of a new journey - that will last a lifetime - and not the end. The perfect bride is that bride that understands the sacredness of her vow and not the splendour of her wedding gown. The perfect bride is that bride that understand that marriage is a serious business, and not some play thing that she can discard at any time.

The perfect bride is that bride that understands that she will be a bride just for one day, but a mother and a wife for the rest of her life. A perfect bride is that bride who understands that her decision today will affect a lot of people. I am not saying that we should start treating our wedding day like a funeral day, all am saying is that we should not let all those frivolities cloud our mind and stop us from seeing what it is we are really doing. Marriage is not something you go into when you feel like and pull out anytime you start getting uncomfortable, neither do we calculate a woman's achievements by the number of divorces she has had. Before you do something try and know the consequences that goes with it. When you marry and decide to pull out when you are no more comfortable, what will happen to your partner and the kids - if you have kids -? Some kids are jeopardized today because of the rash decisions of their parents. So before you start it, make sure you understands all that is involved. And if you understand all these, don't waste your energy anymore trying to make yourself what you already are - a perfect bride!!!